To oblivion and beyond
by Wilsden
Summary: Special thanks to YnitOcelot for the inspiration and use of a couple of lines of the story "Listen to the machine's ghost" which will need to be read first.


To oblivion and beyond.

Bodie headed downstairs and out into the C.I.5 car park. The late night air was faintly laced with wisps of mist; soon the city would be shrouded in fog. Ray had already left for home. A hot bath and a long lie in in the morning was what he needed, he'd said, declining Bodie's offer of a trip to the nearest pub. ' _He's kidding himself if he thinks that will do it for him.'_ Bodie thought. _'I need a drink; God, how I need a drink. And fast.'_

He didn't want one in a pub if Ray wasn't there; he'd have to make small talk with the regulars and there'd be noise and lights and he couldn't be dealing with that, not after today. He wanted to be on his own in the dark and the silence and to drink and drink... He needed to be home.

Bodie turned the Capri out of the yard and into the traffic deciding to take the quieter, and hopefully, quicker back streets, conscious that his heart had begun to beat faster in anticipation of that first drink. He was barely aware of the pedestrians and street lights as he sped past, alcohol was now becoming his whole focus, nothing else mattered. He could almost feel the rich honey coloured liquid coursing its way down his throat like white- hot molten lava hitting his stomach and spreading its welcome warmth throughout his tired aching limbs. It would speed its way to his brain and mind numbing them both, taking him to a place where thinking and feeling couldn't touch him, taking him away from the nightmare of the day. He craved oblivion with such urgency that sharp pains of tension ran along his neck and shoulders. His hands were sweaty and his mouth dry. _'Not long now, one set of traffic lights and then I'm home.'_ He tingled with excitement.

Ray. He came unexpectedly again to Bodie's thoughts. He wondered briefly how he was doing. In general he was more susceptible to the stresses of the job than Bodie but the nuclear bomb had floored them both in equal measures. Bodie shrugged dismissively, ' _oh, he'll be alright.'_

' _I need that drink.'_

Bodie could see the traffic lights ahead and suddenly a thought flashed across his mind. _'Didn't I finish up the last of the bottle of whisky I had about a week ago?'_ He gasped in alarm and wild panic quickly set in. _'There's no drink at the flat and no where open at this time of night to buy any! Or did I replace it? It would have been a priority. Think! Think!'_ The uncertainty had seized his mind in a vice like grip.

The lights ahead were green but the driver in front had stalled and anger quickly replaced Bodie's confusion. He pressed heavily on the car horn and threw his hands up as the black dog of despair descended. _'For God's sake, move!'_ He could see it was a woman. _'Doin' your bloody make up, were you, love?'_ The woman started the car and moved hurriedly away putting her hand up in apology. "At last!" Bodie shouted at her, losing all reason.

' _I really want that drink now.'_

As quickly as his panic had started so now did it start to ebb as Bodie remembered that yes, he had indeed replaced the bottle of whisky a few days ago. How could he have forgotten the look of disapproval when he had run from the store bottle in hand towards Ray waiting in the car?

"You drink too much." his partner had said, as Bodie got in and safely stowed the spirit on the floor at his feet.

"I need to, working with you all day." he had quipped, but for a few days afterwards the words had haunted him. In his heart of hearts he knew there was some truth to the comment and, worse, he knew Ray knew too.

But now, with home in sight Bodie didn't care. He revelled in the sense of comfort in knowing he had a complete bottle of whisky waiting at home with which to bludgeon himself with to the point of unconsciousness.

He stepped into the darkness of his empty flat feeling calmed by the blackness and silence within. Discarding his jacket and car keys he let the flat remain unlit. Just for a fleeting second he leant against the door and closed his eyes. _'Oh, thank God, I'm home. The day is finally over and behind me.'_

When Bodie opened them again he could already see his much coveted prize standing unopened on a tray in the corner of the kitchen work surface surrounded by several glass tumblers but he didn't take one. Instead he grasped the whisky bottle by the neck and threw himself onto the sofa with it, smiling smugly.

Ray. Had the hot bath worked? Was he now fast asleep? Knowing Ray Bodie somehow doubted it.

Pensively he held the bottle between fingers that traced the edges of its label. _'You drink too much'_ Bodie heard Ray's words. _'Well, I'm entitled to a few drinks after today, aren't I?'_ he reasoned. _'I mean, it's not like I'm an alcoholic or anything. After all, I've had this bottle for nearly a week and haven't touched it. '_

Bodie chased the doubt away and smiled as he twisted the gold cap and heard the satisfying crack of the seal being broken. He was so close now, so close to taking a huge mouthful and then another, so close to being unable to escape the lure of the bottle that threatened to drag him willingly under. But he paused again, tight mouthed and fighting, feeling its hold, feeling the pressure. Suddenly he found himself bolting from the sofa and putting the bottle back on its tray in the kitchen. Moving with urgency now he fumbled around for his jacket and car keys and once more stepped into the darkness of the night.

Bodie stood cold in the eeriness of the fog that swirled around in the courtyard below Ray's flat. As he looked up at the unlit window he was only dimly aware of the muffled sound of _'some idiot on a bike out on a night like this'._ He didn't really know what he was doing here. If Ray had managed to get to sleep he would surely kill him for waking him. The annoying drone of the bike got closer and suddenly it was in the courtyard skidding to a halt beside him.

Bodie stared incredulously through the muted light at the figure before him.

"Ray?" He saw the trace of tears.

Standing in ghostly silence Ray removed his helmet fixing his eyes on Bodie half anxious, half surprised. What was he doing here?

"Thought you'd be..." he began.

"Three sheets to the wind?" Bodie replied. "No. Thought you'd be asleep."

"No." They stared at each other in mutual appreciation of each other's struggle and now glad of each other's company.

"Any chance of a nightcap, then?" Bodie asked, knowing he'd be understood.

"Tea or coffee?"

' _Yeah,'_ thought Bodie. _'It may have been a nuke and that certainly was different but we're going to be alright.'_

Ray viewed the thickening fog and then turned towards the door putting a key in its lock. "And I suppose you'd better stay the night."

"Technically I think you'll find its actually the morning." Bodie informed him, a twinkle in his eye.

"Technically I think you'll find you're actually a pain in the backside. Get in."

Bodie chuckled and Ray opened the door, welcolming stillness into his home and turned on all the lights.


End file.
